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Friday, October 7th, 2011 10:08 pm
Whew, finally finished this one. This turned out way longer than I expected, for something so silly. (26 kB? What the...)

Anyways, this is another WoW 'fic, with Jadaar and Asric. It's not actually slash, but there's definitely innuendo and lots of gratuitous male nudity involved. ;P

Oh, and there's fighting; both of the arguing and physical type. (But considering the two characters that are involved, that's not exactly surprising.)

Jadaar couldn't believe what had just happened to him.

He was soaking wet, and covered in what he could only describe as 'goo'. And he felt dirty both inside and out, as if he would never be clean again...

"Do you need a hand? Or do you plan on floating in that sewer water all day?"

Jadaar shot a dirty look above him. On the nearby dock, knelt that wretched blood elf, Asric (who incidently, was also dripping wet). The elf leaned over the edge of the murky water, and offered a hand out to Jadaar.

The draenei debated grabbing Asric's hand and pulling him back in, but thought better of it. Instead, he grunted and accepted the aid, allowing the elf to help pull him out of the raw sewage.

Leave it to that brat to turn my life upside down in a matter of moments... thought Jadaar to himself, grimly.


It had been only a few hours since Jadaar had arrived in Dalaran, but he had spent most of them drinking.

After the long and tiring trip from Outland, he had somehow gravitated towards Cantrips and Crows, an inn located in the sewers, of all places. Admittedly, it was partly because Jadaar had spent most of his hard-earned gold on getting to Dalaran, and couldn't afford to stay in any of the pricier inns in town... Still, not an auspicious beginning to a new life in a new city.

Jadaar grimaced to himself. Here he was, sitting in a sewer, jobless and with only a few gold to his name; while the wretched troll who cost him his Peacekeeper job roamed free back in Shattrath. It was galling. It made him want to hit things...

...Or at least, drink. Fortunately, the alcohol at this establishment was relatively affordable, and Jadaar found himself downing mug after mug of cheap honeyed mead.

He kept telling himself that he drank to drown out the smell of the sewer water that surrounded the inn, but even Jadaar had to admit that it didn't smell much worse than the lower city of Shattrath.

Shattrath. His home... But not any longer.

He then recalled something. The troll wasn't the only one responsible for his reluctant exile; there was at least one other person to blame, as well...

The draenei stared blankly across the water surrounding the inn, as a familiar figure walked into view.

Jadaar blinked. It must be the booze clouding his vision. There were hundreds of elves in this city, surely it couldn't be...

But it was. Somehow, he knew it was. He'd recognize that long, auburn hair and that haughty expression anywhere.

It was Asric. That utter bastard!

The blood elf was currently strolling up the walkway to Cantrips and Crows, the expression on his face clearly stating that he'd rather be any place but here.

Jadaar felt his grip tighten around his mug.

"Of all the inns, in all of Dalaran... In all of Azeroth, he had to walk into this one," he muttered to himself.

An irrational anger suddenly bubbled up from inside him. Despite his former profession, Jadaar was not a violent person; he had broken up far more bar fights in the past, rather than starting them. But he was now astonished to think that he would like nothing better than to strangle the blood elf's scrawny neck with his own two hands.

Clearly, it had to be the alcohol impairing his judgement. Yet after all that he'd been through, Jadaar felt that being irrational for once, was worth having a go at.

After all, he had been a law-abiding citizen his whole life, and look at where it got him!

Deliberately, Jadaar pushed back his chair and stood up. He was surprisingly steady on his hooves, as he walked towards Asric.

As Jadaar approached, the blood elf turned to look in his direction. As recognition dawned on Asric's face, the draenei found himself turning his walk into a run.

Jadaar had the distinct satisfaction of watching Asric's eyes widen in shock, as he charged at the blood elf, and tackled him off his feet.

The other people in the bar turned to watch, dumbfounded, as the two landed on the floor. However, Asric was quick to react, and quickly rolled out from underneath the furious draenei.

The blood elf rose to his feet, eyeing his would-be assailant warily.

"Jadaar? It that you?" he asked.

Jadaar didn't answer. He stood up, and swung a punch at the elf, instead.

However, Asric easily dodged it, his eyes narrowing as he did so. The elf then leapt up, and snapped a front kick at Jadaar's chin.

Jadaar's head flew back, from the force of the kick. As he clutched at his jaw and winced, the blood elf calmly walked up to him.

"Now, that you've come to your senses, Jadaar..." Asric began.

He never got to finish the sentence. For the draenei had crouched low to the ground, and swiftly swept the elf's legs from under him, with his tail.

Asric fell backwards, with an "Oof!" As the blood elf lay dazed on the ground, Jadaar casually grabbed him by the ankle, and slammed him back first onto a table. The other people in the inn winced.

Despite his alcohol-fueled rage, it didn't even once occur to Jadaar to draw his weapons. There was something very satisfying about the thought of beating the crap out of the elf, with his bare fists.

However, Asric wasn't about to take the beating lying down. Despite having the wind knocked out of him, he had enough presence of mind to grab the edge of the table behind him; as Jadaar closed in for another attack, the elf braced himself, and kicked out with both legs, at the draenei's midsection.

With a grunt, Jadaar fell backwards and landed on a table behind him; it fell to pieces under his weight. Only then did the innkeeper let out a yelp, clearly dismayed at his property being destroyed.

Ignoring the outraged yelling of the innkeeper, Jadaar picked himself up from the remains of the table. Meanwhile, Asric slowly sidestepped around the draenei, giving his opponent a wide berth.

However, the elf's caution did not deter Jadaar in any way; it was like a matador waving a red cloak at a bull.

The draenei put his head down, and charged at the elf again. There was a squeal as a barmaid dove out of the way.

Quickly, Asric leapt onto a table behind him. Jadaar managed to stop his charge, just short of crashing into the table. He then used the momentum to his advantage, and aimed a punch at the elf instead.

Asric managed to dodge the punch, by jumping lightly onto the floor. Jadaar's fist hit the table instead, which collapsed from the force of the blow. Meanwhile, the undead sitting at the table lifted his mug just before it could spill onto the ground, and calmly took a sip.

Jadaar was just about to lunge at Asric again, when a pair of powerful arms lifted him up from behind. The draenei tried to turn and catch a glimpse of his assailant, and got the impression of hooves even larger than his own, and massive furry shoulders... Clearly, a tauren.

He turned back to face Asric, only to find the blood elf struggling against a troll, who had also lifted him off the ground.

Jadaar's view was then cut off, as the innkeeper walked into his field of vision. The human's face was red with fury.

"I'm going to show you two what we do to troublemakers around here," said innkeeper coldly. He nodded at the two bouncers. "Toss 'em both in the drink to cool off."

The drink? thought Jadaar, feeling the adrenalin finally drain out of him. He doesn't mean...

Being located in the sewers, the inn was surrounded by the magical runoff from the city above. And there was an oh-so-convienient dock at one end...

Jadaar began to struggle against his captor again, but it was no use; he saw that Asric couldn't break free, either.

Despite the resistance, the two bouncers half-dragged and half-carried the still squirming draenei and blood elf to the edge of the dock, and threw them both off.

There were two splashes, one louder than the other.

Fortunately, Jadaar had the sense to cover his mouth before sinking into the murky depths.


After helping Jadaar back onto the dock, Asric gazed at the sopping wet draenei thoughtfully.

"I'll be honest... I wasn't expecting to see you here, Jadaar," he said. "Any particular reason you decided to charge at me, all of a sudden?"

"Sorry, I was little drunk," admitted Jadaar, in a sullen voice. "And you did cost me my job, Asric."

"And you cost me mine. But you don't see me trying to bash your head in, do you?"

Jadaar stared at him. "And what was that just now?"

"Self-defense, of course. I wasn't about to let you bash my head in, after all."

The two glared at each other.

Then Asric sighed, and held out a hand. "Truce?"

Jadaar eyed the proffered hand suspiciously. Then he grunted, and wiped a hand on his leggings. When he realized that this didn't help much, he shook the sludge off his hand instead, and then shook Asric's hand.

"You stay out of my way, and I'll keep out of yours," said Jadaar. "Deal?"

"Deal," replied Asric.

Jadaar let go of Asric's hand, while the elf grimaced and wiped the goo off of it.

They both started to walk towards the bar. Noticing this, they eyed each other warily, but decided to ignore each other's presence... For now.

Both of them reached the bar at same time, leaving a trail of sewage behind them. The innkeeper glared at both.

"What do you two want now?" he growled.

"One room please," said Jadaar and Asric, at the same time. They then shot dirty looks at each other.

The innkeeper gave them each a penetrating stare. "I only have one room left to rent," he told them.

"I'll take it," said Jadaar hastily. He then caught Asric's eye, and found himself amending his words. "I mean... We'll take it."

Asric raised at eyebrow at him, but the draenei ignored it. He may not like the blood elf, but Jadaar felt guilty about attacking the elf without provocation earlier.

"That'll be 20 silver, for one night," said the innkeeper.

"In this dive?" exclaimed Asric. "That's highway robbery!"

The innkeeper's eyes narrowed. "You won't find a cheaper price in all of Dalaran," he said icily. "And be happy I don't add the damages that you two caused to my place in the price!"

"We'll take it," said Jadaar quickly. He placed the money on the counter, before the innkeeper could change his mind.

"And I'd like a bath, as well," added Asric. This time, Jadaar raised an eyebrow at him.

"That's an extra 3 silver for the hot water," said the innkeeper. "And it's only a hip bath, mind you."

"Fine." Asric tossed a few extra coins onto the bar.

The innkeeper slapped a key onto the counter, and jerked a thumb to the right. "Your room is down the hall, last one on the right. The bath should be ready by the time you get there."

Jadaar took the key and started down the narrow hallway, with Asric following behind him. As they did so, they heard the innkeeper call out after them.

"And if I catch you two fighting in my place again, you won't be thrown into the sewage, like last time... I'll have my boys toss you right off the edge of Dalaran!"

"That would still be an improvement," muttered Asric, under his breath.

Jadaar bit back a retort. He was now stuck with the blood elf, at least for the night. And if they were going to share a room together, Jadaar felt that he would have to be the bigger man, and keep up some semblance of civility.

"I'm surprised you didn't complain about the price of the bath, back there," said the draenei, finally. "Or the quality of the bath water, considering our surroundings."

"I'm soaked to the skin and covered in magical sewage; I'd pay any price to just feel clean right now," said Asric shortly. "Also, this is a mage city. Pure water is cheap and easy to come by, here; any apprentice mage knows how to conjure clean drinking water, and it's even easier for them to heat it up."

"If you say so." Jadaar sounded skeptical. Since he'd been in the sewers, he had seen nothing to suggest that there was any pure, clean, or even drinkable water around here. Even the booze was barely tolerable, and was only good for getting you drunk.

The two reached their room at this point. Jadaar inserted the key in the lock, but the door was already open; it swung open at a touch.

Not surprisingly, the room was tiny, and sparsely furnished. However, Jadaar was not expecting to find another person inside.

It was a female blood elf. She was pouring a steaming bucket of hot water into a long metal tub, which had been dragged into the middle of the room.

"I'll be just a moment longer, boys," said the female elf (who Jadaar now recognized as the barmaid). "I'm pouring in the last bucket of water, now."

Jadaar stared at the bath. It was indeed only a hip tub, as the innkeeper said; but deep enough to sit down and soak in, and long enough for even an adult male draenei like himself to stretch out his legs in.

The barmaid finished filling the bath, and walked out of the room, taking the now empty bucket with her. Jadaar shut the door behind her. Meanwhile, Asric had already strolled inside the room, and was examining the accommodations with a critical eye.

"What a dump," said Asric, eyeing the hammocks along the wall that served as bedding. "Still, I suppose it's better than sleeping in the park; the mages get so touchy about that."

Jadaar's brow furrowed. "You say that as if talking from experience."

"Let's just say, that if you took a nap there, you'd be lucky to find yourself in the same shape, in the morning."

Jadaar wasn't really paying attention, at this point. The steam rising from the hot bath looked awfully inviting, and the water did seem clean and clear...

Asric noticed his gaze, and frowned. "Oh, no no no. I paid for that bath, remember?"

"But I paid for the room!"

"I would've paid back my share!"

Jadaar snorted. "A likely story, whelp."

Asric opened his mouth to argue, and seemed to think better of it.

"I'm a reasonable person," said the blood elf smoothly. He pulled a silvery coin from his pocket. "Tell you what... I'll flip you for it, what do you say?"

Jadaar glared at him. "No tricks."

"I promise. Call it."


Asric tossed the coin, caught it, and flipped it onto his other hand.

"It's tails," the elf admitted, looking disgruntled.

Jadaar was genuinely surprised. "You actually kept your word, elf."

"You sound so shocked, too," said Asric sarcastically. "Hurry up and take your bath, already. And don't take too long; I'd like to bathe while the water's still hot."

Jadaar started to unbuckle his armour, and then paused. "Er... Could you turn around for a bit?"


"I'm taking off my clothes, that's why!"

"What's the problem? We're both men, aren't we?"

"Just... Humour me, all right?"

Asric shrugged, and turned to face the wall.

"I don't know what you're so self-conscious about," said the elf, as the draenei struggled out of his chainmail shirt. "You don't have anything that I haven't seen before."

Jadaar tried not to snort in disgust. He had heard stories about how notoriously libidinous blood elves were; draenei, as a race, were their exact opposites morally, and he would be damned if he would give Asric a chance to leer at his fully naked body.

After finally managing to remove all his armour, Jadaar sank into the hot bath with a sigh. Hearing the slosh of water behind him, Asric turned around, and eyed the now occupied tub.


Jadaar glared at him. "What are you staring at?"

"You, of course. There's not much else to look at it in here, is there?"

The elf continued to stare, making Jadaar feel distinctly uncomfortable.

"You know," said Asric, thoughtfully, "We both could probably fit in that tub..."

Jadaar flushed at this. "Don't even think about it!"

"Fine, fine." Asric turned away, and began to undo the fastenings of his tunic.

"Now what are you doing?" asked Jadaar, uneasily.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm undressing."

"What? Why now?"

"Because I'm taking a bath after you?"

"Couldn't you wait until I'm done?" asked Jadaar, averting his gaze.

"If you're so uncomfortable about it, why don't you just close your eyes? Or in your case, your one eye." As Asric said this, he started to take off his leggings.

Jadaar shut his good eye at that point.

There was the sound of clothing dropping onto the floor, then the sound of bare feet padding around... Then a gentle splash.

Jadaar opened his eye in horror, to find Asric sitting across him in the tub, with a smug look on his face. The draenei pointed an accusing finger.

"You... You...!"

"Oh, calm down," said Asric, splashing water onto his face. "It's hardly fair that you get to bathe while I stand around smelling of raw sewage, don't you think? And there is enough room in here for the two of us."

"Speak for yourself," muttered Jadaar. Admittedly, they both seemed to fit in the tub, but the draenei still felt like his personal space was being invaded.

"Oh, don't be so selfish. And pass the soap while you're at it, please."

Still grumbling under his breath, Jadaar glanced around the room. He thought he had seen the barmaid leave a couple of towels and a bar of soap by the tub.

He then spotted the towels folded on a stool by his arm, with the soap sitting on top. Picking up the bar of soap, Jadaar held it out towards the elf.

There was a faint slippery noise, then a small splash.

Asric glared at the draenei. "Really now. You dropped the soap?"

"Well excuse me, but my hands were wet!" protested Jadaar.

He stared at the water, hoping to see where the soap fell, but the bath water was already murky with filth. Reluctantly, Jadaar reached a hand into the water.

"I thought soap was supposed to float..." he muttered, as the draenei felt around for the bar.

"Well apparently, it doesn't," retorted Asric. "Here, let me look for it, you old cyclops."

Asric began feel around under the water with both hands, much to Jadaar's dismay. The elf was getting way too close to his side of the tub.

"Ah! Here it is!" said Asric triumphantly. He then frowned. "Oh, wait. It's just your tail."

"That's not my tail," said Jadaar, between gritted teeth.

A slow smirk spread across Asric's face.

"Is that so...?"

Jadaar wanted to wipe the smug expression from the elf's face. He shoved Asric away from him, in disgust.

Unfortunately, in his haste, he ended up dunking the elf's head under the water, instead. Jadaar quickly drew his hands back, as Asric came up, gasping for breath.

"What was that for?" spluttered Asric.

"I'm sorry, it was an accident!" protested Jadaar.

Asric's eyes narrowed. He pulled a hand out of the water. It was holding the bar of soap.


"Sorry. That was an accident, too," snapped Asric.

Jadaar held a hand to his face. The elf had just thrown the soap at his bad eye. Admittedly, not very hard, but it still stung.

"That's it, I've had enough of this!" yelled the draenei. He started to stand up, but then thought better of it.

"Wait a minute. Why should I leave? I paid for this room, didn't I?" Jadaar pointed an accusing finger at Asric. "You should go!"

Asric crossed his arms. "Fine, I will. As soon as I finish my bath."

"Oh, no. You're leaving now!" growled Jadaar.

Asric eyed him coldly. "Make me."

There was a pause. Then all hell broke loose, as each of them tried to shove the other one out of the tub.

There wasn't very much more they could do, apart from pushing each other; the tub was far too narrow for anything else. Water splashed into the air, and soaked into the floor.

Jadaar felt himself losing his balance, and found himself looking over the edge of the tub. It was rocking back and forth dangerously.

His eye widened. "Hey stop, we're going to tip ov--"

But it was too late. The tub fell over, spilling its contents into the room... Including its two occupants.

Then there was nothing visible in the room but an upturned tub, floating in a small sea of water.


There was a grunt. Jadaar threw the tub off from over him, with a metallic clang. Just in front of him, Asric spluttered for air.

The draenei looked around. The bath water had filled up the tiny room, until the floor was an inch deep under water. Both of their clothing floated sadly on the surface.

Meanwhile, Asric had turned to look at the door; Jadaar found himself following his gaze. Both of them could only watch helplessly as the water began to leak from under the crack of the door, and out into the hallway of the inn.

"Uh, oh..." Jadaar heard Asric mutter, under his breath.

Just then, the door to the room slammed open, spraying water across the room. In the doorway stood the furious innkeeper, with his two burly bouncers looming behind him.

The innkeeper stared at the floor. Dirty bath water sloshed past his boots. He then looked up, his face red with anger.

"I warned you two!" the innkeeper yelled. "What did I just say about figh..." It was then that he took in the scene, and his voice trailed off.

"..ting?" Behind him, the two bouncers also stared.

It was then that Jadaar realized that he was lying on the floor, completely naked. And he also realized that the only reason that his intimate body parts were not on display, was because there was an equally naked blood elf lying in front of him.

He saw the troll bouncer elbow the tauren, who grinned. Jadaar felt himself redden with embarrassment.

He risked a glance at the innkeeper. There was an almost indescribable expression upon the human's face; it was that of someone who has seen something that they can never unsee again.

"Sorry, I thought you two were..." began the innkeeper, then flushed. "Er, never mind."

He and the bouncers left the room, shutting the door firmly behind them.

Then, there was a metallic click. It sounded suspiciously like the innkeeper's master key locking the door.

Silence fell in the room. It was then broken by a strange sound.

Jadaar looked around, to find that it was coming from Asric. To his astonishment, he realized that the blood elf was actually laughing.

"You find this funny?" exclaimed Jadaar. "Our reputations are shot!"

Asric wiped the tears from his eyes. "But it's so... Ridiculous," he chortled. "It's like something out of a farce, or a bad romance novel!"

The blood elf's good humour was strangely infectious, and Jadaar found himself joining in the laughter as well, until the room rang with it.

Then Jadaar sobered. He punched Asric lightly in the arm.

The elf looked somewhat offended. "What was that for?"

"We're both still lying naked on the floor," Jadaar pointed out. "Let's put our clothes back on, before we catch a cold."

They picked themselves off of the ground, which was no longer flooded with water. However, this meant their clothing was lying on the floor, as well.

Asric picked up his own clothes, and eyed them carefully. "Well, our armour's soaked, but at least it's not covered in sewage anymore," he observed.

They both began to dress. Despite the weight of his armour, Jadaar managed to finish dressing before Asric did. As the blood elf did up the fastenings on the last of his clothing, Jadaar opened the door.

The elf glanced up at the sound. "Where are you going?"

"To explain things to the innkeeper," said Jadaar shortly. He walked out of the room.

Asric's eyes widened. "What? Wait!"

He followed the draenei out the door, while hastily trying to buckle up his belt.


The innkeeper looked up, as Jadaar approached the bar. The human's expression was unreadable.

"Look, I can explain..." Jadaar began.

The innkeeper held up a hand, and the draenei fell silent.

"What you two do behind closed doors is your own business," said the innkeeper slowly. "Just... Keep the noise down next time, will you?"

"But we didn't--"

Just then, Asric walked up, and placed a hand over the draenei's mouth.

"We'll be sure to keep that in mind," the elf replied smoothly. "And we promise to clean up the room, as well."

The innkeeper wordlessly pointed a thumb to a couple of mops and buckets behind the bar. Jadaar and Asric took the hint, grabbed the cleaning supplies, and headed back to their room.

After judging themselves to be out of earshot of the innkeeper, Jadaar finally spoke.

"Why didn't you let me tell him the truth?"

"Because he would've kicked us out of the place, if he knew we were actually fighting again."

"I suppose you're right," admitted Jadaar. He gave Asric a sidelong glance. "Still, I don't like it... People might get the wrong idea about us."

"And what's wrong with that?"

"Well for one thing... You're the last person on Azeroth that I'd ever want to be involved with."

The elf raised an eyebrow. "Is that so? And what makes you think I'd even consider getting involved with the likes of you?"

The draenei gave a snort of derision. "Hah! I know what you blood elves are like!"

"And what are we like, pray tell?"

From his vantage point at the bar, the innkeeper watched the pair continued to bicker, and shook his head.

"I suppose it takes all types in this world," he murmured to himself, while polishing a glass.