"Fire Emblem: The Burning Brand" (excerpt)

Well, I finished an excerpt of my Western Fire Emblem story, if anyone wants to see... (BTW, the story actually starts with the Prologue, like in the game, not with Chapter 1.) Also, since this is only an excerpt, the chapter is obviously incomplete...

( Chapter 1: Rescued by the Cavalry )

I still need to look up some details on Westerns, to make sure I'm at least somewhat accurate... (Please tell me if the new place names sound reasonable, or if Sain's accent is too much. ;)P